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Writer's pictureStephanie Brown

Bloody Rose - prologue

Updated: May 22, 2020

(I wanted to post the prologue of my story here. It's not on Wattpad... yet. The prologue published there is the old one. Anyway, I hope I'll receive feedback - what to correct and all)

Loud steps echoed through an empty corridor as a person walked through it, confidence evident in each of the person's step.

It was a man with pale grey skin and dark blue shoulder-length hair. He wore a black suit that was hugging his body tightly, it's fabric keeping his body-warmth in any environment. On his back were bold silvery letters:

I S R S


The man stopped in front of a metal door with a star-like space ship surrounded with small crystal inscribed in a circle - the symbol of Intergalactic Space Research Station.

The man tapped his five-character code into a panel in the doors and bent his knees, allowing a hidden camera to scan his eyes. A little lamp on the panel lighted green and, with a quiet mechanical sound, the door opened.

The man repeated the procedure twice before the final door opened, giving him access to the ISRS headquarters. 

The HQ was stuffed. Scientists were running in a hurry from one person to another, not sure if their results were true. Some of them were in a panic, having predicted the outcome of the detected abnormality. The man even saw one of the employees under their desk, trying to catch their breath between their sobs.

The sight was unusual, to say the least, but the man wasn't expecting anything else. He himself had already received the news. He knew the scientists were sure of what they detected, otherwise he wouldn't have bothered to come. He suspected that the realisation of what was happening just sunk in and that they were trying - apparently unsuccessfully - to deny the results out of desperation. 

He headed straight to the elevator, where, once again, he followed the standard procedure - five-character pin and the eye scan. Only when the program received the information of where the man was allowed, he pressed the button.

The elevator took him to the very top of the headquarters - what the employees called "the high-rank floor" or "the boss floor". Of course, the employees also had some least official names that stayed secret between them, but the man, being another one of the "high-ranks", did not know what those were. Those names changed from the time of his first promotion.

The man walked down the hall, stopping in front of the last door. They had a plaque on saying "Jhiwe Noviohe". It was the office of the vice director of ISRS.

The man knocked twice and, not waiting for permission, he walked in.

"Jhiwe. Long time no see," he said, smiling brightly at a middle-aged man pacing back and forth across the room.

"Charlie. Good to see you." Jhiwe Noviohe gestured to a chair standing in front of a large, black desk. "Have a seat." 

Charles stiffened a little but sat on the chair. He visited the vice director not rarely, but usually his visits weren't formal. And with his friend Jhiwe, 'have a seat' is most definitely formal.

"I assume you received the message." The sentence sounded more like a question. Charles, knowing that his superior didn't expect an answer, nodded. "As you were informed, The Storms' recent activity seems to endanger the entire Known Universe. The scientists have done enough research to know that the only way to stop the destruction The Storms would cause we would have to get a team on the other side. There's a high possibility that, with data gathered from that side of The Storms, we would be able to stop the tragedy from happening."

The Storms. They were the most beautiful but also the most dangerous thing Charles has ever seen. The south border of the universe was made of pure energy swirling and crashing into itself, like a furious beast, like an unpredictable storm. Nothing was ever able to pass it, not a planet, not a star, not a space-ship. 

"I wanted to give the task to a more... scientifically experienced Explore Team, but all of them say it's impossible... a death wish. They don't exactly know what danger we are in, ISRS decided to inform people only when necessary. We don't want to cause panic. Now, I know you and your team have experience with some troublesome environments. I know you might be the only person to agree. Will you go on this mission?"

"Through The Storms?" Charles asked. He kind of saw this coming - why else would Jhiwe ask for him in such a situation? But to imagine it and to hear it are two different things. For a moment, he was speechless.

"Yes. Through The Storms."

Just then Charles grinned like a maniac. To be the first person outside of the borders... As the leader of his Explore Team 095 he would make history! But that wasn't the half of his reasoning. Charles knew a person who would jump into that job, a person he could not bear. This person's dream was to see what was never seen, and he just had a possibility to be ahead of her. To beat her and laugh at her face.

"Yes," Charles said. "I would be honoured."





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1 Comment


Ida Zam
Ida Zam
May 15, 2020

I like your story. The prologue encourages to continue reading. I see that it will be fantasy/sci-fi.

Now about the mistakes.

each of person's step -> each of person's steps

he wore a black suit that -> he wore a black suit, that

keeping his body-warmth -> keeping his body warm

abnormality -> anomaly

trying to catch a breath between their sobs -> trying to catch a breath between sobs

realisation -> realization

Only when -> as soon as

information of where -> information on where

being another one of -> being one of

had a possibility to -> could

He himself had already received -> he had already received

Good job, keep writing

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